The Fine Art of Lyric Writing

Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood will be separately releasing singles of "Inside your Heaven", the "coronation song" of this year's American Idol 4 finale. It's strange that AI/19E decided that both should release the exact same song, although with different B sides. They have never done this before, so perhaps they feel that the two fanbases are mutually exclusive and this was a perfect way to get maximum sales. It's also likely that the other "original" songs they sang during the finale were such horrible dreck, they couldn't imagine anyone ever buying them. Actually, all the songs are equally bad, so I am not sure there's an argument to made any way on the basis of musical or artistic merit. Bo's producer's choice was called "Long, long Road" and was truly an interminably long song; at least it's aptly named. The other song that Carrie sang was called "Angels Brought Me Here", which at least is a better title than "Inside your Heaven". That's just taking the idea of "personal faith" a little too far.

I am glad Bo got a chance to release a single and later on, an album, despite coming in 2nd. That said, it would have been nice if his first single wasn't this awful miscarriage of song-writing. The tune is execrable, but what really irritates me are the lyrics.

Chorus:

I want to be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
When the storm blows you away
I want to be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathing in
A soothing wind
I want to be inside your heaven

It's no Gershwin, is it? And the syntax is more than a litte R-rated, even if unintentionally. Since when is "my heaven" the "place I cry from"? It makes no sense at all. Inside "my heaven", there's lot's of wine, chocolate and cheesecake, everyone speaks with a crisp English accent and the temperature is a constant 19 degrees celcius. Certainly no storms there, never mind any that will "blow me away". Also, the singer says "I want to be .... Every bit of air you're breathing in". Okay, with all the pollutants, bateria and assorted germs in the air we breathe, this is just downright NASTY.

And I could not resist a comparison to the immortal Ira Gershwin, who wrote lines of such brilliance in "Porgy and Bess" and various classics of the American Songbook.

Verse in "Inside your Heaven":

When minutes turn to days and years
If mountains fall
I'll still be here
Holding you until the day I die

Let's compare this to how Ira Gershwin did it in "Our Love is Here to Stay".

The Rockies may crumble
Gibraltar may tumble
They're only made of clay
But our love is here to stay.

Essentially the same sentiment, pulled off with so much more sheer panache and style. Lyric writing is an ART, and there is nothing artistic in "If mountains fall, I'll still be here".

Guts, Glory and Great Gallons of Luck

AC Milan 3 - Liverpool 3 (Liverpool wins 3-2 on penalties)

No pretensions to impartiality here; I am over the moon with this totally unexpected result. Victory in Europe for Liverpool, after 21 years. This is a club that has frustratingly underachieved in the Premier League and spectacularly overachieved in the Champion's League. I suppose it all evens out to a solid debut season for Benitez.

Much has been, and will be, written about this remarkable victory, grasped from the jaws of defeat in 6 minutes of madness and more than a little luck, and a few more minutes of drama in the penalty shootout. There will be those that would question if Liverpool "deserved" to lift the trophy after being completely outplayed by Milan in the first half. I will leave the analysis to those who are paid to do it. I can only say that the question of "deserving" is moot in a game that often plays out over 90 minutes to result in a 0-0 draw. The beauty of soccer is that it can be so many things and turn out in so many ways. Should 6 minutes of brilliance cover up 45 minutes of ineptitude? It's a question that need not be asked in the unpredictable world of soccer. A split second of inspiration can win a match; just as a split second of lost concentration can throw away a lead. It's the way of the game. Besides, if one starts arguing about being "deserving", how deserving is a team that surrenders a 3-goal advantage in 6 minutes? It cuts both ways.

From a fan's unabashedly delighted perspective, I am so pleased for the long-time Liverpool supporters all over the world, but especially for those who filled the pubs of Merseyside and those who saved for months to make the trip to Istanbul. I am thrilled for the Liverpool players who were born and bred there - Stephen Gerrard and Jamie Carragher. This is nowhere close to the great Liverpool teams of the 1980s, but they have achieved a great outcome, compensating with pride and passion what they lack in ability and athleticism. Perhaps victory is all the sweeter because it came against such seemingly insurmountable odds.

The going joke is the best team in Europe are not even the best team in Merseyside, never mind the best team in England. Yes, Liverpool finished fifth in the Premiership, and placed behind Everton. But look at who they beat in the Champion's League knock-out stages. Chelsea, the champions of England, boasting two Premiership "Players of the Year" in Lampard and Terry. Juventus, the champions of Italy. AC Milan, the outgoing champions of Italy, European Champions only 2 years ago and blessed with the likes of Shevchenko, Kaka and one of the strongest club defences in the world, led by the great Paolo Maldini. When you manage to win against teams like these, you have done your part to win the Champions' League trophy. And there is another statistic that hasn't been much mentioned - Liverpool went undefeated throughout the knock-out stages. They did not lose a single match, not even an away match, and were the only team to boast this record. AC Milan lost to PSV in the semis, even Chelsea lost to both Barca and Bayern Munich en route to the semifinals. Liverpool are not the best team in Europe, but they were the best team in the Champions' League competition stage.

And look at what they did in the final. Three very good goals (Maldini's in the first minute and Crespo's fine brace) down by half-time and seemingly out of it. The fear was that Crespo would get his hattrick and Shevchenko would get in on the scoring, and Liverpool would lose by an embarassing scoreline. There was gloom everywhere; even the commentators (Rob Hawthorne and Andy Grey on duty for Sky Sports, from whom ESPN Start Sports took the match commentary) were somewhat disparaging about Liverpool's improved performance in the opening minutes of the second half. It seemed that nobody believed there was a way they could dig themselves out of that very deep hole. The Gerrard scored and dispensing with celebration, sprinted to the kick-off spot, urging both fans and players to rally. It seemed then that there was somebody who believed, after all. Five minutes later, Liverpool were level, courtesy of Smicer and Xabi Alonso, scoring on the rebound from a brilliantly saved penalty. It was exhausting, exhilarating and for Milan supporters, excruciating. Liverpool played out the half a completely different team than the one that took to the field in the first half. On to extra time, where Liverpool were visibly tired but hung on, via a Dudek double-save, to bring the game to penalties.

I hate penalty shoot-outs and would like to see a better way to resolve matches, especially in major finals. But it's not like I have any better ideas. With all the expense, travelling and logistics involved in high-level soccer, replays are not feasible. Other forms of sudden-death tie-breakers would be no better than a penalty shoot out. I hate penalty shoot-outs but am resigned to them as a necessary evil. This time, in this match, the penalty shoot-out was oddly appropriate, recalling the last time Liverpool won the European Champion's Cup, also in a penalty shoot-out. Twenty one years ago, the hero was Bruce Grobelaar and his wobbly-legged dance. This time, Jerzy Dudek did the honours with his clownlike antics on the goal-line. It was not dignified, definitely not pretty and to some, perhaps not even completely within the laws of soccer. But it got the job done. It won Liverpool the Champions' League trophy.

And because I can be petty - "HA! Take that, Mourinho!".

American Idol: Final 2

I am not going to bother with a detailed song-by-song review of the Final 2 performances. Both Carrie and Bo were obviously unwell, making for a very lacklustre final. I would give the edge to Bo, but that's mainly because he has better performance skills (although it was getting repetitive) and I much prefer the tone of his voice to Carrie's, which was back to sounding strained and reminding me of injured vocal chords.

I think both sung well below par and worst of all, were saddled with two horrendous songs. These songs were truly bad; terrible lyrics, run-of-the-mill melodies and utterly BORING. I thought that "I Believe" from last year's final could not be topped for sheer banality, but they managed to do it. These songs made the Singapore Idol winner's single, "I Dream" (which is as forgettable a song as you can get), sound like Mozart. After a whole season of them singing some good, even great, songs from old and new catalogues, having these songs in the finale was anti-climactic.

Carrie won, and I really could not care less. I believe Bo is both a better musician and a better performer than she will ever be, but winning the AI title is as much a curse as it is a blessing. Much as I dislike Corey Clarke and his sleaze-bag revelations, I think the aftermath of his allegations did surface a few salient points about how the AI machinery shackles the contracted contestants and performers. I hope Bo will find a way to parlay his exposure on the show into a meaningful long-term musical career, away from 19E and the AI. It's telling that the two most successful AI alumni, Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken, have fought their way out of their contracts with 19E. American Idol is reality TV; there is a winner each season who gets his or her 15 minutes with the media circus. That's what Carrie has "won". Beyond that, the winner needs to be judged as a singer competing with other artistes outside of the insular AI hot-house. That's what Carrie, Bo, Vonzell and all the rest of them, would need to do.

American Idol: Top 3 Review

We are finally down to 3. The season seems to have been on since the beginning of time. By the time the final 2 step out to sing next week, we would have heard them sing in 13 performance episodes, not counting their occasional forays into group songs and repeat performances during the result shows. It's been a LONG season.

And so we have the top 3 in a bumper edition, singing 3 songs each! No theme, unless you count "Judges', Clive Davis's and Contestants' Choices" as a theme. Clive Davis looks more and more like a Mafia gang-lord every time I see him; the impression is not helped when he opens his mouth because he sounds like he could order a hit between recording sessions.

Vonzell:
Clive Davis's Choice: I Know I'll Never Love this Way Again
Ooops, she was really struggling with pitch issues, especially in the first part of the song. She finished well enough, and managed to hit a few power notes on the way. Her voice can be very rich and textured, but on this song, she sounded thin and strained. Slow numbers are not her friend.
Contestant's Choice: Chain of Fools
Vocally, this was a much better performance than her first song. She hit all the notes and her voice sounded smooth. This is just the type of song that suits her style and sense of fun. The girl can perform and sell a song, because her personality is so open and winning.
Judge's Choice: On the Radio
Simon chose this song for her, and it's a home run. This was a let-your-hair-down performance, with all the trademark Vonzell cuteness and mid-song chuckles. Vonzell shouldn't try to be the next Whitney Houston, because she lacks mastery of her instrument. She should traverse the path of Donna Summers and revitalise disco-pop.

Bo:
Clive Davis's Choice: Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me
Ooooh, it's THAT song! The one that Clay Aiken knocked out of the park during his Wild Card performance in Season 2 (the performance that made me take notice of him). Jasmine Trias wailed it to destruction last season. How did Bo do? Pretty well, as it turns out. This performance did not have Clay's beauty of tone and sureness of technique, but it was a completely different approach and arrangement, so it did not suffer by comparison. Bo's gravel-toned voice brought an emotional edge that worked well for this song.
Contestant's Choice: In a Dream
Sung a capella, no less. Of course, that's how they all audition for AI in the first place, but it does take guts to sing unaccompanies on live TV. Singing a capella takes great musical instinct; you might hit sour notes (as Bo did) but the great and difficult thing is to modulate to the corrects note without instrumental aid (as Bo also did). I am not so enamoured with the song itself, but his voice sounded fantastic here, very nuanced, distinctive and full of character. The last note had a horrible time finding its right place (and never quite did), but did not mar an impressive performance. Bo showed that he can sing. Although his range (in terms of octaves spanned) is not wide, he knows how to work his voice.
Judge's Choice: I Can't Get No Satisfaction
Paula chose a non-song which is more a performance stunt than a musical number. Bo did what he could, jamming to a rather nice slow groove in the middle and finishing with a rock-roar, but this is not a song that showcases singing prowess. I suppose I should view it as a performance, in which case, it was pretty much standard Bo - some bouncing, some hair-tossing and much stalking-around while carrying the mic stand. Nothing you haven't seen before.

Carrie:
Clive Davis's Choice: Crying
Carrie sounded great on this song; the best I have ever heard her sound. For once, there was no straining and I wasn't reminded of vocal chords being stretched beyond repair. She does have a rather pretty head-tone when she sings more quietly than is her wont. The problem with this song is that you can't hear it without thinking of Roy Orbison's and KD Lang's versions. Carrie's performance lacks poignancy compared to these. But in all fairness and comparisons set aside, this was beautifully done.
Contestant's Choice: Making Love Out of Nothing At All
Hahaha, Air Supply! Anthony Federov would have sung this had he made it to the top 3. Given the rumours of their supposed canoodling, perhaps Carrie sung this as a tribute? I had never thought of this song as a power ballad, which is what it became in Carrie's hands. She sung it well, hit all the right notes, and held a couple of good notes. Technically, this was strong and incredibly impressive. But her voice began to sound strained again, particularly when she was powering her way through the chorus.
Judge's Choice: Man, I Feel Like A Woman
Maybe Randy chose this after getting wind of all the Carrie-bot jokes making the rounds on the Internet. The first part of the song was horrendous. She croaked rather than sang it, and her lower register problems were having a field-day. It ended rather better, with her hitting her comfort zone in the middle of her range. On this song, her voice lost all the prettiness on display in her first song, sounding strained and thin again. When she sounds like this, all her technical superiority cannot help to make her singing more pleasing to my ears. This is maddenning; she can obviously sing and she has a pleasant voice somewhere in her, so why do we not hear it more often? Also, she seems awkward and very self-conscious of her physical movements on stage. This is magnified when you compare her to Vonzell; Carrie's lack of stage presence becomes glaring and rather painful to watch.

Audio Review: American Idol Top 4

I did not review the Top 5 performances last week, having been overtaken by my workload. To summarise: Scott was better than usual, but not good enough to stay; Anthony was terrible on his first song, and rather good on his second; Carrie showed some spark of life on her Elvis song (an Elvis number) and sang prettily enough on the second song without her annoying tendency to show her ability to hold a note for 10 seconds; Vonzell was all over the place and tried to cover up vocal inadequacies with cuteness and then went into diva mode and sang competently if a little boringly; Bo sang a nicely familiar first song like someone who had sung it all his life and went to town on the second song.

This week: Country and the Philly Soul Sound

Carrie: Sin Wagon / If You Don't Know Me by Now
Sin Wagon: Sigh ... country is supposed to be her genre, so what went wrong? Sin Wagon had some attitude but the twanging sounded self-conscious rather than spontaneous. And her lower register was non existent.
IYDKMBN: This is one of my favourite songs, and this arrangement sucked half the soul out of the song. Carrie's vocals did the rest; all showing-off and zero understanding of the what she was singing. I have thought so all season, but tonight, she sounded more robotic and mechanical than she ever has before.

Bo: Great Day to Be Alive / For Love or Money
GDTBA: I liked this, although the song is formulaic country-pop and not at all memorable. Bo was clearly comfortable with what he was doing. A solid, professional performance, but like the song, nothing more than serviceable.
FLOM: Hey, it's the theme song for The Apprentice! I think this is a hard song to sing because it is reliant on syncopated rhythms, intrumentation and the way that the lead vocals blend with the back-up singers. Bo pulled it off for the most part, but his voice sounded ragged and he seemed to have shouted large portions of the song. There was energy aplenty to make up for the rough spots in the performance.

Vonzell: How Do Leave Without You / Don't Leave Me This Way
HDILWY: Wow, terrible arrangement, with the song unfolding at a funereal pace. Vonzell sounded like she had no breath control, losing notes or cutting them off abruptly. She also sounded much more squawky and scratchy than she ever has. A very painful affair.
DLMTW: Her lower register was horrendous on the verses; she was on the edge of going off-key more than once. Much better on the high energy chorus, but I think the back-up singers helped make her sound better. An enjoyable performance, but vocally ragged.

Anthony: I'm Already There / If You Don't Know Me by Now
IAT: Hey, not a bad job singing country! Who would have thought this Ukrainian blonde had it in him? This was the right song for his voice and range, no bad notes and no demands made on his lower register. He still needs to introduce some vibrato into his voice, to be completely successful at this, but all said, he sounded good tonight.
IYDKMBN: Singing the same song as Carrie had, he completely blitzed her on this one-on-one confrontation. Sure, you can tell the emotion is manufactured and that the boy needs to experience a bit more of life to really sell a song like this; but he put all the effort he could into bringing the soul out of the song, which Carrie did not (or perhaps could not) even try. Good job.

The Tense Road to Istanbul

Champion's League semifinals 2nd leg matches:
Liverpool 1 - Chelsea 0 (Liverpool 1-0 on aggregate)
PSV 3 - AC Milan 1 (AC Milan 3-3, goes through on away goal)

I was in some disbelief last week when Liverpool clinched a spot in the final of the Champions League. The last 10 minutes of regular time were incredibly tense, and the referee added on 6 minutes that seemed interminably long. It wasn't pretty football, unlike the other semi-final, but the atmosphere was unparalleled. The scenes of the Liverpool fans waving their red and white scarves were fantastic and as stirring a sight as anything in English soccer.

Frankly, I didn't think Liverpool would be able to pull it off. But here they are, making it through 3 knock-out stages and into the biggest final of European club football.

It will be a big occasion. I think AC Milan will be strong favourites, and deservingly so. After their less than stellar league performances, Liverpool will be happy to be there and will hopefully make a commendable showing,

The Survivor Research Project: Ep 12

This was a great episode centred on strategising, taking risks and executing a plan. It's probably the best strategising episode since Rob C's betrayal of the in-crowd alliance in the Amazon season. We learnt this week that Ian is really playing, although strangely loyal to Katie, while realising that she is not as loyal to him. The dynamic between them is something the show hasn't shown much of, so this is a loose end I hope they tie up next week. Gregg probably got a little too comfortable and trusted too much that Tom and Ian would stick to the Koror 5 alliance, little thinking that taking Katie on the reward would create enough doubt in their minds. Caryn and her "Academy Award winning performance" was prominent this week, and it would be interesting to see if Tom and Ian will continue to ally with her next week.


ST: Screen Time ; Im: Impression Left ; Lk: Likeability

Caryn
ST: 3
Im: 4 (she's lucked into a better position in the game, because she is the free vote they could use.)
Lk: 2.5 (They have not shown the sour complaining side of Caryn in a few weeks, and she seems to have gone along with the strategy with much gusto, which I admire)

Gregg (voted off Ep 12)
ST: 3
Im: 4 (his "asking permission" to lower Jenn's torch during RC was rather wimpish, and showed him to be somewhat "whipped" in the relationship. He's also memorable for having a best friend also name Greg. He was not shown much talking strategy other than a short segment on the yacht, because I suppose there was little more to it than getting to 5, then getting Katie to switch. This was ultimately faulty, leading to his ejection from the game.)
Lk: 3.5 (His parting words were wonderfully gracious, and actually showed a lot of admiration of his tribemates.)

Ian
ST: 5
Im: 5 (appeared to have been the mastermind of the Gregg ouster, first mooting the idea of risking the purple-rock tie-breaker, then telling Katie at the last minute to persuade her to vote with himself, Tom and Caryn. Also won the IC in a rather impressive display of both puzzle solving and shooting skills. What was somewhat puzzling was his loyalty to Katie, with all that talk of watching her back, despite her open willingness to sell him up the creek.)
Lk: 4

Jenn
ST: 2
Im: 3 (perhaps it's her blondeness, but she came across rather princess-like during the RC, especially her reaction when Gregg chose to take her along on the reward. Other than that, I liked her interview segments when she spoke about seeing her sister, and she did show a lot of spunk on the IC. She still seems somewhat dull, because they hardly show her talking. However, her open-mouthed disbelief when Gregg left was a highlight that makes her memorable in this episode. )
Lk: 2

Katie - Koror
ST: 4
Im: 4 (she was the alliance jumper this week, and showed her hand early by taking Ian out in the RC. She was also the swing vote that got Gregg voted off, after being rather masterfully played by Ian, Tom and Caryn )
Lk: 2 (I could not believe that she told Ian outright that she was "in a good place" and that it was unfair that he was suddenly springing the Gregg vote on her. She had the stupidity to tell him that she would not win against him, effectively telling him that she would vote against him. It's fine to think so, in fact it's only smart to think so, but she should never say it directly to his face!!)

Tom - Koror
ST: 5
Im: 5 (wonderful interaction with Caryn and Ian this week, as they plotted Gregg's ouster. I liked how he instructed Caryn to act sour and dour. He was also philosophical about missing out on the reward and was quite touching in his reaction when learning that the reward included a visit from a loved one. He appears to really have his eye on the game.)
Lk: 4

Such a satisfying episode this week that you wonder what else can be in store. How will Jenn fight to save herself, now that she has to really start playing her own game separate from her twosome alliance with Gregg. Will Katie's and Ian's strangely lopsided alliance hold strong, or will Ian stick with Tom instead? And what of Caryn and her new-found lease of life?

The Survivor Research Project: Ep 11

A strategy heavy episode, with extra serving of paranoia at the side. Stephenie fights to stay in the game, Tom cozies up to Caryn, the Katie-Ian alliance is revealed to us. Tom lost the immunity challenge for the first time this episode, and the tribe did not take advantage and vote him off, choosing instead to boot Stephenie. With Stephenie finally leaving, the tribe is down to all original Koror members. It will be interesting to see how it shakes out. Katie has shown she is willing to get rid of Tom if needed, and even Ian seems to be entertaining the thought, despite his obvious bond with Tom. Caryn has no super-secret alliance apart from her loose "look out for each other" arrangement with Tom so she could be the wild card in all of this.


ST: Screen Time ; Im: Impression Left ; Lk: Likeability

Caryn
ST: 3
Im: 3 (finally, we learn where she is in the game. It seems she has made no alliances at all before Tom approached her. She actually seems rather grateful to be still around, and isn't playing that hard.)
Lk: 2

Gregg
ST: 2
Im: 2 (made his case about wanting Stephenie to leave, but was not shown in the thick of the strategising. He obviously has not approached Caryn, and wanted Stephenie to leave, so where was he going to get the numbers to back up his alliance with Jenn?)
Lk: 3 (he's level headed and all that, but we are not being shown enough of his thought process with respect to "the Plan", so he's coming across as rather dim in the strategy department of the game.)

Ian
ST: 3
Im: 3 (strategising with Katie, and also with Tom over Caryn's revelation of the women's scheme. He overthought that part, suspecting Caryn of making up stories, then voicing it to Katie, who was the one who approached Caryn in the first place. He was also the "star" of a segment focused on his bathing in the sea after Jeff Probst remarked that he reeked.)
Lk: 4

Jenn
ST: 2
Im: 1 (apart from a half-hearted profession that she was willing to vote off Gregg if that is what it takes to get further in the game, she said and did nothing of much interest. She was pretty happy to get her ice cream sundae, so there was that.)
Lk: 2

Katie - Koror
ST: 3
Im: 4 (very much in the thick of all the strategising. She was the one to approach Caryn, also talked with Ian, Jenn and Gregg about Tom's plea to not be voted off because of his strength in challenges. )
Lk: 2 (she's overdramatic and her attempts at humour could tend towards meanness. But I like how she understands that the game involves voting off people you like and needing to lie along the way.)

Stephenie (voted off Ep 11)
ST: 4
Im: 3 (initiated the thought of a women's alliance, but she actually took a backseat to the original Kororians this week. She was pretty emotional over getting her letters from home, which was a nice humanising moment.)
Lk: 3 (She left graciously and seemed to be truly happy with what she has achieved. She's wildly popular on the forums and has a popularity rating of over 90% on the CBS website. I can't share that level of enthusiasm as I think her portrayal has benefited from favourable editing. In the Survivor Insider videos, the longer version of her post-boot interview was shown. In this, she returned to her favourite theme of her "deserving" to still be in the game, the one thing that makes it hard for me to warm to her entirely. She even made a vague reference to being a "true survivor" compared to some of the people still there. She seems a cool person on the whole, but the sense of self-entitlement is annoying.)

Tom - Koror
ST: 5
Im: 5 (he actually asked the tribe not to punish him for his strong performances in the challenges, saying that he had helped to bring them to where they are. Nice try, but I am not sure how effective it is to spell out even more clearly to these people that he is an IC threat. He also approached Caryn, bringing her into the strategy game for the first time. Thereafter he was shown talking to Ian about Caryn, revealing that he is playing hard.)
Lk: 3.5 (docked half a point this week for his dubious strategy of pleading with his tribe to cut him some slack for his strong performance in challenges. To me, it didn't strike me as thinking he was more "deserving" - that dreaded word - than others; it just wasn't smart thinking and he lost some respect points with me there.)

This was an episode that set the scene for episodes to come, with several sub-alliances jockeying for position: Gregg/Jenn, Ian/Katie/Tom, Tom/Caryn, Ian/Katie and the possibility of Katie jumping over to the Gregg/Jenn sub-alliance. With an even number of players next episode, this could get interesting.