My Brain this Morning: A Screenplay

Time: 7.23 am
Scene: My living room.

(I am stumbling into the living room, still yawning. Glancing at the cable set-top box, I notice the time: 7.23 am. My brain is half asleep, half awake)

Awake part of brain:
Hey, the Liverspool Champs League match may still be on. (I reach for the remote control)

Asleep part of the brain:
No, it should be over. It was supposed to start at 6 am, match is only 90 minutes ... oh, hang on, I could still watch the last 20 minutes.

(I switch on the TV and push the requisite "23" on the cable remote control. Happily, the screen is showing the familiar green of a football field, with one team of players in yellow and another in red. They had just started showing the second half and the match clock showed 47 minutes. In my groggy state, I cannot see the scoreline clearly: "L_V 0 - L_V 2".)

Asleep part of the brain:
Oh, damn! I just knew it! Liverpool are losing by two goals and they conceded an away goal earlier, so they are going OUT. Aaarrgghhh. And look, they're not even really fighting for the ball.

Awake part of brain:
That guy in the yellow jersey sure looks a lot like Stephen Gerrard. It is Stephen Gerrard! Liverpool is the team in yellow, the team that's attacking.

Asleep part of the brain:
So they are attacking, but they are still 2 goals down!

Awake part of the brain:
They are in yellow because they are playing away. 0 - 2 .... that means Liverpool is leading this match!! See, it's LEV 0 - LIV 2.

Asleep part of the brain:
Huh??

Awake part of the brain:
Could you just wake up?? Listen to the commentary - Leverkusen needs to score 5 times to win this tie. Liverpool is leading 5-1 on aggregate.

Asleep part of the brain:
Oh. Oh. O - o - o - h. They're winning! YESSSSSS!!! YESSSS!!!

Awake part of the brain:
Yes, indeed. Care to join me in the land of the awake?

Asleep part of the brain:
I think I need a nap.

THE END.

In my now fully awakened state, I have to say this: Wow. I didn't expect them to quite pull it off this comprehensively. Wow.

Real Madrid crashed out, so there are now NO Spanish teams left in the competition. Two English teams, one German, one French, one Dutch and two Italian teams, likely to be 3. So does this mean La Liga isn't the best soccer league in the world? And therefore that Barca is not the best team in the best league in the world? If so, Mourinho should just stop crowing about eliminating the "best team in the world", as if that made Chelsea somehow better than the best. In the first place, it's debatable if Barca is the best in the world, although they would be certainly up there in the highest echelons. In the second place, that was a "squeaked through" victory and really proved nothing about where bragging rights should or should not go.

But let not the annoyance of yesterday cast a gloom on the triumph of today. Admittedly, Leverkusen were not exactly putting up a galactic challenge, but a victory in Europe is never a walk in the park. And a Champs League quarterfinal slot is gold to a team that's going nowhere fast this season. Well, done, Reds.